random brain dribbles of a nurse, novelist, and ninja enthusiast

Badass Rebjorn: An Analysis of Masculinity and Fatherhood

Why does fatherhood have to be so emasculating. The idea that manliness dissipates with each successive diaper change predominates all of popular culture in movies like ‘What To Expect’ and the television series ‘Guys With Kids’ where bjorns are used to parody the manliness of the men wearing them.

Source: nbc.com

Even for women pregnancy and action are contrasted using fake superheroes like Juno’s Most Fruitful Yuki.

Fruitful YukiDespite this parody you will likely never see Wonder Woman pregnant and you will definitely not see other superheroes settle down. Superman will not have kids with Lois Lane even if it was possible with his alien DNA and Spiderman and Mary Jane Watson will never have tiny spider babies. Outside of Mr. Incredible and Big Daddy from Kick Ass there are almost no real dads doing real dad things. There are plenty of shitty dads.

Normon Osborn who becomes the Green Goblin and Magneto top this list along with a host of other characters from both sides of good and evil. Ironically, we hear more about their kids than we do any other parents within the Marvel universe. Fatherhood is barely touched upon.

Quicksilver and the other children of Magneto just magically appear as adults with little explanation given to provide any indication they were ever raised by anyone at all. Even good guys like Scott Summers and Jean Grey have their child simply appear from the future as badass soldier Cable with knowledge of an impending apocalypse, but little else is revealed through the years with respect to how he was raised. These kids just appear.

It’s as if popular culture decided good parenting would detract from masculinity or a hero’s overall badassery. Soldiers all around the world protect us by leaving their families and returning to tears and cries of joy and we love them all the more for it. After all, what good is a hero if there is nothing back home worth protecting. Despite its importance, fatherhood continues to be missing from popular culture as a positive force for young men to aspire to.

Sure, they have their own fathers as role models, but unless there is another form of reinforcement outside the family unit, I think true damage is being done. The only way to fix this problem is to saturate our current market with action packed images of our favorite movie heroes reinvented for fatherhood and nothing says fatherhood like the baby bjorn. Welcome to movies rebjorn (includes catch phrases!).

#1 The Bjorn Identity

"The government is about to have some serious daddy issues"

“The government is about to have some serious daddy issues”

#2 Three X-Men and A Baby

"For these three mutant dads aberrant DNA is the least of their concerns"

“For these three mutant dads aberrant DNA is the least of their concerns”

When Cyclops, Nightcrawler, and Wolverine join forces to care for an unsuspecting new arrival at their doorstep hilarity ensues.

These are but a few of the many cinematic remakes that await the world if they would only jump on this untapped badass dad demographic. In the meantime I will have to single handedly push this crusade forward like a dad-centric hero for dad-centric heroes. Let me know what you guys think in a comment below.

Saving fatherhood and changing the face of masculinity one overblown cliche and explosion at a time!

25 Responses to “Badass Rebjorn: An Analysis of Masculinity and Fatherhood”

  1. Mooselicker

    Man I was hoping for a longer list. Three X-Men and a Baby was hilarious. It just sounds so ridiculous and possible…

    I’m going to sit here until I think of one of my own.

    Okay ten minutes have passed. I see how hard this was and appreciate it more.

    Reply
    • josefkul

      I was going to do several more and will probably include more in a future post, but ran out of time. PS I haven’t forgotten about your drawing and will have something for you hopefully some time early next month.

      Reply
    • josefkul

      That was awesome Damien! I plan on doing a second one of these with far more movie examples and will definitely include this. Possible alternative titles: Diaper Hard and Diaper Hard 2: Diaper With A Vengeance?

      Reply
  2. The Waiting

    “It’s as if popular culture decided good parenting would detract from masculinity or a hero’s overall badassery.” I couldn’t have said that better myself.

    Also, way to rock that kitty Bjorn.

    Reply
    • josefkul

      Thanks, hopefully my child doesn’t have a severe child allergy. The cat was only through desperation as my wife was uncomfortable with having a picture of me and the baby while holding a machete and gun, but the cat was fair game. Somehow, I think the cat actually works better. It’s a win for everyone.

      Reply
    • josefkul

      Thanks Dork Dad,

      I’ve read quite a few gems on your own blog since joining WordPress. I think you, Ned, myself, and several other dad bloggers could make a pretty sweet crime fighting league. I’ll get back to you on our league’s name.

      Reply
    • josefkul

      Thanks!

      This was a fun one to do and I hope to include more dad-centric awesomeness in the future. So, stay tuned.

      Reply
  3. Duffer

    Great stuff. Thanks to Dork Daddy for the share.
    “Silence of the Maams”: Stay at home dad takes back the ward from nanny nation

    Reply
    • josefkul

      Haha… Man, there are some pretty excellent title ideas people have come up with. We should all have one giant post featuring all these fantastic ideas in one location.

      Reply

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